So, I went for a dental check up this morning because these pearly whites need to be kept in a gleaming state. I like the star-like “ping” — you know, the one that occurs when you do that “Cheese” smile as you see on the toothpaste or chewing gum commercials? With a smile as big as mine (trust me, it’s nothing special because it’s a family trait), I can’t have a mouth full of rotten teeth.
Now, let me say this, I actually love going to the dentist. Shocking, I know. But, I haven’t had any nightmare experiences, like drills and root canals. I’ve been going to the same person (and there’s now a partner in the office) for the longest time. I’m comfortable with the whole set up, and when it’s health-related, I’m not good with change. I’m sticking with what works. Today, I’d be sitting in the partner’s chair, not my usual dentist. No problem. I’ve been cleaned by the person before.
So, the process begins…
Three towels and a drip sheet later, I’m done, and none too soon because my Uniqlo Heat Tech long sleeves were getting soaked. Hell, I was drowning. I wondered why before we got started I was given goggles. Now, I know why! You know that commercial, “Not just washed…power-washed.” That was me. The water was running — no, pouring — out of my mouth. It was like a damn river. My face was soaking, and the zinging of the water felt like hail. It stung. I couldn’t open my eyes. It wouldn’t have mattered because the goggles were like a windshield — you couldn’t see out. You know when you’re driving through a rain storm and the water is gushing down? Yes, like that. The only things missing? Wipers.
So picture it: Water–and lots of it, dental instruments and noise. Me: Paralyzed in the chair.
Dentist — without stopping and going in for the kill with the instruments: “Are you alright?”
I don’t know what the heck happened. All I know is the H20 was flying everywhere. When I heard, “Okay, you can rinse now.” I was like, “Thank you, Jesus.”
Next big appointment: June 2012.
Note to Self: Wear hospital scrubs, a rain coat, my Wellingtons and bring an umbrella. And maybe as a precaution, I’ll get flood insurance. Is that just for property? Can a human be flooded?