It is screw or be screwed…I am DONE

I promised myself I would never allow this space — my creative release — to be consumed or overtaken by issues, problems, nonsense that have anything to do with my job or my work.

So much for that sh**. 

When I entered the work world as a “grown up” (so, we’re not talking about summer and after school jobs), it wasn’t like today where kids are so exposed to information.  Kids know a lot more than I did at their age, although, if you’d asked me, I probably would have said that I knew it all and had the attitude to go along with it.  When I started working in a real office, a true 9 – 5, there was no Internet.  I was typing on an old IBM Selectric typewriter and using carbon paper.  Looking back, I really had no nightmare experiences, that is, until the early 2000s.  I don’t know what the h*** happened.

I’m griping because it seems that it’s every man, woman and child for themselves — more than ever before.  Does it have to do with the economy?  Who knows? All I know is:  It is screw or be screwed.  And don’t think for one minute that if you’re working in a “professional” setting with people wearing suits and ties, who hang on to their degrees like a lion to raw meat, that they will somehow behave professionally and not find an opportunity to give you the proverbial b****slap.  If they get an opportunity to make themselves look better at the expense of others, mark my words — they will.  Sadly, this is high school all over again — but now, it’s even more pathetic because everyone in the picture is an adult.

That saying, “throwing someone under the bus” — yep, that happened to me today.  Not only was I thrown under the d*** bus, but they put that thing in forward and reverse a few times.  When you get a, “Shut the door please because I have something I need to address with you,” from head chief, believe me, you know in no way shape or form is this going to be good.

Here’s the thing, after what took place last week, I knew this would be a possibility and I can look at it this way:  The person who was driving the bus did not disappoint.  Truth.

If I break it into percentages, 70% of my career has been pretty “normal” or “average”:  You’re going to work, you’re doing the job, those to whom you report seem pleased with your performance, and you’re getting along with your co-workers.  It’s the 30% that gets you to the point of picking up your belongings, walking out the door and not looking back, and late this afternoon I had one of those moments.

When it’s all said and done, if you get to that point, you have to ask yourself:  Is all this worth it?  Is it getting me to where I want to go?  Am I happy?  And I’m not talking all singing, all dancing happy.  I’m talking, do I like what I do and am I looking forward to getting out of bed to go to work and sit through 8, 9, 10 or whatever hours with these people?  If the answers to all of the questions are “no”, then you need to start driving the d*** bus.

There are millions of people in this world who would probably kill (I don’t know why) for my job.  I work in the “Greatest City in the World”,  which would equal that the streets are paved in gold.  Not.  The pace is fast and people are over-stressed.  Sometimes I wonder if I should have done something different in my life.  But in the end, I actually enjoy my profession, I just don’t enjoy the incidental b***sh** that goes all with it.

Have you ever gotten to that point?

What started today in the closed-door meeting will be continued into next week.  But from my vantage point….


12 thoughts on “It is screw or be screwed…I am DONE

  1. Pingback: So incredibly humbling…a true meaning of shock and awe. | brainypintsizer

    • Thank you, Multiple Mama! I’ve been receiving some really encouraging messages, and I’m so appreciative. The closed door meeting has been weighing heavily on my head. After all, I’m only human, so it is upsetting. Getting myself out and on to something new is a must do. I never envisioned I’d be dealing with such nonsense at my age. Unfortunately, getting something new won’t happen immediately, but I’m hopeful. I’ve never been afraid of hard work, and I really and truly love my profession. There’s something out there for me. I know it. It will happen. *smile*

    • And that’s the reality check: It is hard out there and getting up and walking away without having some of my ducks in a row is not an option. It would be irresponsible, and that’s not my style. Stay tuned for next week. It will be ugly, I’m sure. As Mr. Bus Driver returns to the office and will be having a meeting with the Powers-That-Be.

    • I know, I agree, and that’s what I have to do. I take nothing for granted. I know how lucky I am. I often think: Some of the biggest, fanciest jobs, people are unhappy, and some of the simplest, perhaps considered “low level” jobs, people are not only happy but content. If I could travel and write about my experiences, that would be my dream job. (Maybe I also need a short bit of time off. Not much. A few days.)

    • I’m going to have to do a lot of soul searching and prayer to get through this. I guess God doesn’t give you more than you can handle? After a terrible night’s sleep, I had a moment of clarity this morning: This too shall pass. It’s just going to be rocky for a while. I simply have to remain positive and focused. Soon I’ll turn that frown upside down — and a smile will emerge!

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