Remember my pre-cleaning and purging frenzy (“The Grand Clean and Purge”) before the visit of “The Sequel”? I haven’t forgotten. My knees are still hurting. Oy!
My place is like I like it: Clean. Well, clean-ish. I already know I need to clean again because once you clean, and then there’s activity, you realize you need to keep cleaning. So, I’ll do the weekly maintenance and then concentrate on the next big cleaning. I’m thinking early May prior to the visit of “Reds” (the West Indian mother with the Eye of the Tiger and the Sniff for non-cleanliness — the woman has a powerful, cannot-be-explained stupefying sense of vision and smell).
Here’s my problem:
I cannot find the key to the vehicle belonging to my uncle-who’s-afraid-to-fly, a.k.a. “Road Warrior”. Can’t find it. It’s missing, and for the life of me, I think this is a cruel joke. My house is the cleanest it has been in FOREVER. Somehow the keys have disappeared or grew legs and walked away between the time I turned off the ignition after returning home from the airport (after parting ways with “The Sequel”) on Saturday afternoon and actually getting back into my apartment.
The keys are M.I.A.
I cannot find the charger for my Nook. I remember seeing it prior to the Grand Clean and Purge, and now, if you gave me five minutes to find the thing and waved a million dollars in front of my face as incentive, I’d lose that million dollars. I know where the Nook is, but clueless about the whereabouts of the charger. How am I going to read anything?!
The charger is M.I.A.
For a couple of days, I also couldn’t find my laptop bag. Are you kidding me right now?! I knew where the laptop was, but without the bag, I didn’t have access to any of the extra “equipment” that I leave stuffed in the bag. For instance, I needed to download photos from my mobile phone. I couldn’t find the bag, so I didn’t have the chord or whatever that is that I plug into the laptop and plug into the phone, and therefore, no downloads. Finally, after an extreme search, I found the bag — under my desk. (Don’t even get me started.)
The laptop bag is, therefore, no longer M.I.A.
Now, I’m thinking: What else is missing? What else do I not know about — yet — that’s missing in this place?!
A clean house and I can’t find a d*mn thing. I am one angry Bounty Paper Towel-wiping non-housewife.
If I wasn’t sane, I would rip this place apart to the studs — for the key (not for the Nook charger…that would just be bananas).