The fact is, I threw up my hands and said, “@%* it”, a long time ago — yes I did.

Truth.  I’ve had one foot out the door at my employer for years.  Actually, within the first three months of my arrival, I felt in my heart it was not a good place.  It was not a place to stay for the long haul or forever. I knew I would do everything I could to avoid being a “lifer”.  However, I wasn’t sure if those feelings had to do with me trying to get used to living in the U.S. again and feeling like I’d made a big mistake by returning to New York too soon or that my new boss was a complete phony, sashaying (not kidding, that’s how she walked around the office), b*tch.  But, after she left, which by the way was only after working there for maybe a year and a half  (if that long), I was on my own for 3 months.

I’m not tooting my own horn, but — I. worked. my. butt. off. during those 3 months.  I did all that the company needed and wanted me to do based on the resources I had and even that which I didn’t have.  Once the second boss rolled in — a not so much of a b*tch, but a syrupy phony southern belle — I pushed even harder and assumed more responsibilities.  But, I didn’t feel challenged in the way I wanted.  I was doing more work, but much of it lacked substance.  I was getting sh*t shoveled my way, and it was clear she was quite content with that.  Well, she left after 3 years, and I became “head chief and bottle washer” of all things marketing.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Once boss number 2 left, I thought: ‘Here’s my chance to make some real, long-overdue changes.’  I wanted the company with the backing and commitment of the company’s management, to step outside of an antiquated, deeply rooted and very wide comfort zone.

My feeling:  If the company and its leaders were willing to take some chances, do things differently as it related to their marketing activities, as well as the day-to-day business activities, we’d all — the leadership, the worker bees, everybody — reap the benefits.  (And that could mean a lot more printed paper in our pockets in the long run. *cha-ching*)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In corporate marketing circles, there’s the annual holiday card.  Is it sincere?  I won’t get into that, but what I will say is I have yet to meet another individual in a marketing department who has to be involved with the whole holiday card decision-making and distribution process who doesn’t despise it.  It is a time suck ritual times 10.

This year, instead of the usual…find a photograph, go through 15 rounds of management reviews of maybe 6 lines of the holiday message text, I came up with what I thought was a brilliant idea.  Why not do something different?  (Remember the paragraph above?)  I won’t divulge what it was because I’m hoping to be able to use it elsewhere, but let’s just say, the idea was clearly in line with 21st century popular culture.

Well, not long before leaving the office today, I e-mailed one of the Powers-That-Be about arranging for a meeting to discuss this year’s holiday card.  Within minutes, my phone rings.  Without even much of a breath, I’m told the management had already decided not to go with my idea and so we should do a card like we usually do.

I wasn’t even afforded an opportunity to have a discussion with the group.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The above is one of many, many, many signs that solidify why it is essential — absolutely essential — that I do everything in my power to find another job.  It demonstrates so many things, including a lack of respect.  As you know, I now have an industry mentor.  I’ve had one meeting, but my hope is that this person will help to not only guide me but force me to find my own way in some respects and make some tough decisions.

The fact is, I threw up my hands and said, “@%* it”, a long time ago — yes I did.

So, as disappointed as I was (alright, I was super p*ssed, but those feelings dissipated quickly), I thought: ‘Alright, you write my checks, I’ll do your bored-to-death holiday card. One day I won’t have to every do it anymore.’


8 thoughts on “The fact is, I threw up my hands and said, “@%* it”, a long time ago — yes I did.

    • Trying to keep the focus on being positive. But you know how it is. Some days…mmmm… A move is definitely in order, but it takes time. This isn’t the easiest economy to simply move — even when you have a job looking for a job. Not giving up. I press on.

    • Oh, The Southern Bomb, I’ve dabbled in expanding my search outside NY, but who am I kidding? I can’t go anywhere — not as long as The Second Mother lives and reigns (with Sassy Spitfire, of course) in the Bronx. Yes, that is the reality. There’s no way I can leave this place. Life.

  1. Preach! If a company isn’t willing to at least flirt with some innovation in their marketing, they’re likely not going anywhere substantial soon. And at least after the holiday card debacle you’ve made your decision that you need to go somewhere else to feel challenged to grow instead of challenged to not throw your computer at your bosses head.

    • Thanks for visiting my lil’ blog and responding.

      Truly, they have made me exhausted. Abssolutely exhausted — not just physically, but mentally. I’ve tried and tried and tried, and my talking to friends and whoever will listen (and posting on this space) is like a broken record. So, now I’m looking for an image for this holiday card so I can get this over with. Of course, I feel like I can’t give up totally, so I’m looking for muliple images and thinking of doing a collage, instead of a solitary photo. I need to do something to not make this a dry marcomm piece. I know, I know. I shouldn’t bother, but I keep trying. le sigh.

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