The annual company holiday party. I lasted 5 minutes. Now, that’s a record.

5 minutes.

That’s all I had to give at my company’s annual holiday party last night.

I walked in, went to coat check, ordered a non-alcoholic beverage, peeked in the dining/entertainment space, left my drink at the bar, went to the ladies’ room, washed my hands, left the ladies’ room, took a sip of my drink at the bar, went to the coat check, retrieved my coat, and then left.

Yes, all in one breath, that’s how fast it was.

5 minutes.

Remember how I felt last year?   Let’s carbon copy that, and lower the bar even further.  (Obviously my feelings have gotten worse.)

Parties are fine.  Partying with co-workers, people who I see daily in the environment of business?  Not so much.

Like last year, I had a full day.  I was submerged in work — engaged in the insufferable activity of mailing list preparation and distribution of the electronic corporate holiday card. From the time I walked through the door of my office, I never left…

  • Not to powder my nose.  (Okay, fine, I don’t do this normally, but I could have started, if I had the chance.)
  • Not to get a cup of tea.  (Remember last week I was on the SNAP Challenge?  I couldn’t afford tea, so I was sans tea for 7 days?  I missed it terribly.)
  • Not to have lunch.  (Um, did you read that?  Yes, no lunch.  #TheGreatLunchHunt was a no-go.)
  • Not to stretch my legs a bit and rest my fingers and hands so that 10 years from now I won’t have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
  • Not to even get fresh air from the hallway.  (Granted the hallway isn’t exactly the Great Outdoors, but at least there’s a “breeze” from the foot traffic.)

After scheduling a delivery of one of an exec’s card for tomorrow morning (Did I mention that he had a 3,000+ mailing list), I walked my weary self to the venue.

Which brings me back to the 5 minute episode replay above.

Just the thought of: “Whatcha doin’ for the holidays?” Or, “You going anywhere?” was too much. 

I was exhausted.  I had a full 10 hours behind closed doors in a small, window-less office.  I was hungry.  I was parched.  Hadn’t had one beverage all day.  My head was pounding.  My eyes were hurting.  My fingers were tired.

And NOW, you wanted me to participate in small talk???

You must be out of your doggone mind.

Maybe I should have read this: “How to Navigate Your Company’s Holiday Party Like a Pro.”  Oh well.  *shrugs shoulders*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

What side of the fence are you on?

Thoughts on a company holiday party…

  • A must.  You never miss it — the food, the drinks, the camaraderie.  It’s a highlight of the season.
  • You know what? Just give me the money in my paycheck and you can scrap this phony baloney bogus love fest.

And while we’re at it, gift giving – gift accepting…

  • If it’s not “Secret Santa”, then don’t do it.  Exchange pleasantries and keep it moving.
  • Oh, I do it all the time!  So much fun!  Especially when I get a gift from the one of the “suits”.  Winning!

2 thoughts on “The annual company holiday party. I lasted 5 minutes. Now, that’s a record.

    • I think if you’re part of Corporate America where for almost 12 months out of the year, up to the hour before the darned holiday party they’re knocking you around, and then all of a sudden you’re supposed to break bread with them and sip cocktails? Craziness.

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