I go through these periods of silence where my mind needs to get away. I need to step away — step away from putting pen to paper publicly. I used to stress constantly (but now only occasionally) about churning out a blog post. Not anymore. I post when I have something to say…when my heart moves me.
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The foodie adventures have come to a bit of a standstill. Not a bad thing since my poor waistline has suffered. *looks down and shakes head* My travels have come to a standstill. This, too, is not a bad thing. There is still an economic downturn (hello?) and as the holidays creep up, this wallet has few bills and more change. *looks over at wallet and shakes head*
So, my job search. The story of my life, the thing that consumes my mind most of the time since the ball dropped on January 1, 2013. So far, I’ve had one face-to-face meeting with an executive recruiter. Optimistic? I have to be. Negativity breeds negativity, and right now, there’s no room for that in my life sucking out what precious oxygen I need to breathe. I also recently reconnected by e-mail with another executive recruiter, who, it seems, is alarmed at my decision to leave my industry completely. However, after reading a job description of some “wonderful” place where there was an opening, and discovered it wasn’t so “wonderful” after a quick Google search, I’m not so sure about her. It isn’t that difficult to discover a company’s dirty laundry on the most widely used search engine. I passed on pursuing the position. I am sure she wasn’t pleased once she read my e-mail, but if she wants me to think I should stay within the industry, she’d better be careful what she shares with me in the future.
Last week, things were good at the office. Somehow with several changes I made in various places on the Web over the past six months and launching two additional social media pages for our company in August, we landed on the first page of Google in organic search results. A huge “win” for me — guess I could add it to my resume and/or mention it during an interview — but today, a new work week begins. I am proud of what I accomplished, but I take things one day at a time. Gone are the days that I ride a high.
Yesterday when I spoke with one of my family members, I mentioned I was pleased to be “gainfully employed”, and I am (thank God). But, things are completely and increasingly uncomfortable and, dare I say, precarious. I just have an awful feeling constantly. Not a good way to live.
Life feels like a walk on a tightrope.
To be continued.