Slipping into bad habits, leaving discipline by the wayside.

I’ve been noticing recently that my once dogged adherence to self-imposed rules and regulations of “Responsible Behaviors in Adulthood” have not only been bending but bending a bit too much.  I’m not quite sure what’s going on.  It’s almost as if I’m trying to drop in as many carefree moments without really pausing and considering the consequences until after the fact.  It’s only then that the “What the h*ll are you doing???” thoughts roll in.

The other day, in one of the rare moments I caught myself before doing damage, I wondered if I was having a midlife crisis.  I’m being serious.  There have been so many instances since the year began of me exhibiting unusual, spur-of-the-moment behaviors, that I’m now taking stock (you know that saying, “You better check yourself before you wreck yourself”? Well, that comes to mind…).  Frankly, it’s disturbing, uncomfortable and leaving me anxious.

Self-control is one of those things I like to think I have.  Well, for some things, more than others.  Much of the time, my slight O.C.D. keeps me in check. (It has its benefits.)  But, now I’m truly all haywire in my head…Slipping into bad habits, leaving discipline by the wayside.  This has been building since last year, as I’ve documented a few things on this blog of mine.  (You can’t hide from the truth, especially when it’s in print.)  It’s like, unbeknownst to me — and without my permission, a switch was flipped and now there are bursts of whatever, whenever, however — and the “I don’t give a sh*ts.”

So, to all my sociology and psychology undergrad and graduate majors (I can’t remember that far back, although I do believe I did very well in those classes), what’s going on when a seemingly rational and “together” full-fledged adult begins displaying behaviors akin to someone in young adulthood?  I’m not doing things that are trying to recapture my youth (wearing acid washed, ripped jeans and such), but to be blunt: I’m living on 10 at times like things don’t matter when they absolutely, positively should.

The last two weeks: A former VIP lounge, A concert, A baseball game, A fireworks display…A whirlwind

So much for basking in the glow of my week away cruising the Atlantic and visiting Bermuda.  Although I returned to work during the middle of a week and had a shortened week (last week) thanks to the July 4th U.S. Independence long holiday weekend, there was enough that brought me back to reality that I was home.

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Below 54 - Inside

The first day back to work transitioned into the first night out on the town to Below 54, a fabulous jazz place in the Theater District.   It’s got a bit of history.  It used to be the former VIP lounge of “Studio”, as in the famed nightclub of the 70s and 80s — Studio 54.  Oh, if the walls could talk!

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Four nights later, on Saturday night, I was bounding up the stairs to the street of the Atlantic Avenue subway station into a crush of minglers outside the Barclay Center in Brooklyn.  Two words:  Floor Seats.  (Yay, me!)  I had no shame.  Yes, I was screaming my lungs out and grooving to Bruno Mars.  One more word:  EPIC.   The man is bad!   And is band?  Wow.  Just awesome.  That pintsized dude (Mr. Mars, a.k.a. Mr. Hernandez) — yes, I am there for him in every way as a performer.  I’d never seen him live and he did not disappoint!  I enjoyed it so much, it did cross my mind to find a way to the nearest city to see him again, but I knew it was nothing short of crazy to fly to Montreal, Canada.

Bruno Mars - 2 (2013)

Bruno Mars - 1 (2013)

Bruno Mars - 3 (2013)

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Citi Field - Mets Game (2013)

Two nights later, I was at Citi Field, home of the New York Mets baseball team.  Yes, the “other” New York baseball team.  I’d been part of an invited group to tour their suite spaces and to see what they had to offer those with “deep pockets” in terms of bars, restaurants and snack areas.  Our host could not have been more hospitable.  Although I’m not a Queens baseball chick (I’m a New York Yankees fan — always have been, so the Bronx is where I belong), I actually enjoyed every minute of my visit to Citi Field.  But I will admit, it’s not like the old Shea Stadium, their old home.  Can’t help to have a little bit of a soft spot for the old stadiums.  Gone are Shea and the original Yankee Stadium — the house that Ruth built.   It was great to see the “new” home of the Mets, especially since they’ll be hosting the 2013 Baseball All Star Game very soon.

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Macys Fireworks - Waiting (2013)

Three nights later, I was seated on the West Side Highway ramp — yes, seated, in the middle of the street (see photo above) — with about 50,000 other New Yorkers and tourists waiting for nightfall and the annual Macy’s July 4th fireworks extravaganza.  It was a wonderful sight once the show began.  Sure, I had to wait for hours in the heat (we’d had days of 90 degree weather and humidity that were relentless), but I had a bottle of water (that unfortunately became warm very quickly, but at least I had liquid), my Nook to read some downloaded magazines, and my relatively new smartphone.   (Yes, I got a new phone!…I’m no longer walking around with my 5-year old or almost 5-year old BlackBerry.  I now have a Samsung Galaxy S4….BTW, the photos you see on this blog post were all snapped with the S4.  Not bad. Actually, anything is better than my antiquated BlackBerry.  Yes, I’m throwing shade to my “old faithful” now relegated to being an “ex”.)

Fireworks - July 4 - 2 (2013)

Fireworks - July 4 - 3 (2013)

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In the midst of these activities, I managed to visit The Second Mother twice and spent some time with Sassy Spitfire, The Traveler and The Kid, squeeze in a brief stroll through Central Park on my way to Sunday brunch with a friend, and had a very long overdue bonding and catching up session with Momma Rockstar, the BFF, who I hadn’t seen in weeks.   We took refuge on a sweltering Saturday afternoon in a mall.  Now that’s a place I haven’t been to in forever.  I don’t do malls, but when the temps rose, this island girl refused to be outdoors.  Re-fused.

So, tired yet?  That was my last two weeks.  What were you up to?